Self-care Sunday
Self-care is something a lot of people don't have time for, myself included. When our daily schedules require us to jump from one task to another non-stop from morning to night, it doesn't leave a lot of time to think about our emotional, mental, or even physical well-being. I'm just going to assume that all three for most people are running pretty low.
All you lovely people out there: slow down for a minute, a moment, a couple of hours. Pour yourself a coffee (or a glass of wine, because goodness knows some days call for it). Take this slice of time to remember yourself; your soul needs some loving, too! If you don't know how to begin, don't worry. Most days, I don't know either. But here's what I've slowly learned to do: be easier on yourself. Accept that there are hard things you need to do if you want to build a life with as little toxicity as possible.
I'm going to share something that happened to me recently in an attempt to bridge the distance between me and you as writer and reader. For me, the last two weeks have been really hard. A lot of people who hurt and mistreated me in the recent months somehow all picked that time to pop back into my life, one after the other. Some did it unintentionally, in the most unexpected ways.
I had to turn them all away.
I had to, because they showed me that they didn't change, and I don't deserve to be treated that badly again.
Saying "no" to those people-- people who I wanted in my life, but who ended up bringing me more pain than happiness-- was hard. Choosing myself over someone I once wanted so badly shouldn't feel like I'm breaking my heart all over again, but it does. It feels like I'm constantly losing, like I seem to hurt more than they do. If they even hurt at all. But that's not all. The shitty part is, and I'm sure most of you know, these experiences have a lasting effect. It tinges the way you interact with other people, beautiful, kind people who didn't mistreat you, because you're afraid of being hurt again. It affects the way you carry yourself. It even changes the way you perceive yourself. I wondered if I was being selfish and closing doors on opportunities to have more friends in my life. The result of all of these oppressive feelings is that you forget the good things and people in this world.
If any of you are feeling this way, let me remind you of something good.
You are still here.
You are hurt, and I know it's hard. God, I know. But that means you are still soft. It means you are still open to love and to loving others. That, my lovely reader, is bravery, because this world is not built on love. It is built on the principle of using things, consuming them, and discarding them when they are no longer useful. It is made of people who feel entitled to take and take and take, even if they themselves don't know they are doing so.
No.
You gave something, opened yourself to the possibility of happiness, and that was brave. Because deep down, you knew there was no guarantee to have that piece of you back. You are not selfish for putting yourself first and protecting your heart from people who don't take the time to consider your feelings. You are not selfish for saying "no" to those people who want more of your kindness and time. You are not selfish for knowing you deserve better.
You are learning through your pain and accepting yourself as you change. And that is brave.
All you lovely people out there: slow down for a minute, a moment, a couple of hours. Pour yourself a coffee (or a glass of wine, because goodness knows some days call for it). Take this slice of time to remember yourself; your soul needs some loving, too! If you don't know how to begin, don't worry. Most days, I don't know either. But here's what I've slowly learned to do: be easier on yourself. Accept that there are hard things you need to do if you want to build a life with as little toxicity as possible.
I'm going to share something that happened to me recently in an attempt to bridge the distance between me and you as writer and reader. For me, the last two weeks have been really hard. A lot of people who hurt and mistreated me in the recent months somehow all picked that time to pop back into my life, one after the other. Some did it unintentionally, in the most unexpected ways.
I had to turn them all away.
I had to, because they showed me that they didn't change, and I don't deserve to be treated that badly again.
Saying "no" to those people-- people who I wanted in my life, but who ended up bringing me more pain than happiness-- was hard. Choosing myself over someone I once wanted so badly shouldn't feel like I'm breaking my heart all over again, but it does. It feels like I'm constantly losing, like I seem to hurt more than they do. If they even hurt at all. But that's not all. The shitty part is, and I'm sure most of you know, these experiences have a lasting effect. It tinges the way you interact with other people, beautiful, kind people who didn't mistreat you, because you're afraid of being hurt again. It affects the way you carry yourself. It even changes the way you perceive yourself. I wondered if I was being selfish and closing doors on opportunities to have more friends in my life. The result of all of these oppressive feelings is that you forget the good things and people in this world.
If any of you are feeling this way, let me remind you of something good.
You are still here.
You are hurt, and I know it's hard. God, I know. But that means you are still soft. It means you are still open to love and to loving others. That, my lovely reader, is bravery, because this world is not built on love. It is built on the principle of using things, consuming them, and discarding them when they are no longer useful. It is made of people who feel entitled to take and take and take, even if they themselves don't know they are doing so.
No.
You gave something, opened yourself to the possibility of happiness, and that was brave. Because deep down, you knew there was no guarantee to have that piece of you back. You are not selfish for putting yourself first and protecting your heart from people who don't take the time to consider your feelings. You are not selfish for saying "no" to those people who want more of your kindness and time. You are not selfish for knowing you deserve better.
You are learning through your pain and accepting yourself as you change. And that is brave.
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