Cheers! to beginnings and ends

I didn’t think I would fuck myself over
When I sat down at that sunlit table
Clink—
goes my coffee cup
as I set it down before me

It's as blue as my heart would become
Of course I didn’t know that
When I was busy choking
Down my nervousness in between sips of my lukewarm latte
Your speckled brown eyes scoff
At my braced elbows trying to camouflage my simmering anxiety
As if spraying perfume in the kitchen would cover up
The sight of dirty dishes in the sink

I set down my coffee cup without taking a sip,
My mouth too full of fuzzy despair
Somewhere, Venus and Fortuna are squabbling
Because somehow I always end up on the edge of love
You don’t jump though